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Next Wave Reports

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‘It’s so crushing’: US families navigate divide over politics during the holidays

ByNext Wave Reports

Dec 27, 2024

Over Thanksgiving, a seat at Irena’s table in New York was empty this year.

Irena and her husband chose not to share the holiday with his brother, who is a fan of Donald Trump.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of him gloating over Trump’s victory at the table,” Irena said. They decided to avoid “the verbal pyrotechnics that would ensue when my husband pushed back”.

As the holiday season ramps up, millions of families across the US will be deciding how to tactfully navigate disagreements within family gatherings, after a divisive year in politics and a bruising presidential election campaign.

The election split Americans in half: on 5 November, Trump got 77.3m votes, or 49.9% of the popular vote, while Kamala Harris got 75m votes, or 48.4%. And according to a 2023 Pew survey, 61% of Americans say political conversations with people they disagree with are “stressful and frustrating”.

The wider family of Ann, a 55-year-old accountant in Pennsylvania, have “been told if they start discussing politics that my family will leave their festivities”, she said, as she and her immediate relatives are the only Democrats among an extended brood of Trump-supporting Republicans. They have operated on a no-political-talk deal since 2016.

But at Thanksgiving this year, conversation began to creep on to politics and Trump, she said, “and I got my coat”. Realizing Ann was serious, her sister changed the topic of discussion, so Ann stayed. “Religion and politics – we don’t discuss any more,” she said.

Ann said her brother has fallen down a rabbit hole and posts prolifically on Truth Social. “It’s sad – he and I were very close, but I don’t know who he is any more and he doesn’t speak to any of us.”

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